87 and wondering why ...

I guess this is the bookend to a youthful 31 year old, that of being 87 and feeling the perky kiss of death. I had the most amazing, sobering, and simple conversation with my grandfather the other day. He along with my family from California came to visit us "just because". One evening he called me into the living room to have a conversation about why he has to suffer so much now. You see my grandpa is an upright, self reliant, giving, and a holiness preacher for 50 plus years. However, in this season of life as an 87 year old retired preacher and great grandpa he has been more of a fragile, sick, discouraged and frustrated senior saint in the twilight of his days here. In talking with him I learned a few things about looking at life from his side of the pond.

• To see and hear fear and weakness in his voice over the most rudimentary things, such as walking from the car into the house messes with my mind and sends shooting pains of sorrow to my heart. To see his body breaking down and not staying in pace with his strong mind has been uncomfortable to watch. It reminds me how I want my heroes to stay frozen in the rescuers pose and not show me that they too are human, are on borrowed time, and are in need of mercy.

• When talking with him I am confronted with the realities of death as he has accepted and at times wished to hasten it. Talking with someone so comfortable with the topic was well, strange because all I do is spend my time thinking about future plans, 401k, my daughter’s high school prom, and how I can change the world in my 40's. But rarely do I think about death.

• As I think about the fact he will die sooner rather than later I ponder how we can see each other again and this thought fosters more reason to continue to enjoy God's grace on my life and trust the work of his son Jesus.

So what is to be made of this? If you have a senior saint that you haven't talked to in a few take time to do so or visit you local assisted living center. In doing so you’ll learn that you too are human, are on borrowed time, and are in need of mercy.